So the other day I was referred to as a "soccer mom" by someone who had only met me mere minutes prior....and that got me thinking about how readily people like to stereotype others, most of the time, without even knowing them. Now, I know my kid plays soccer (at least for this week) but I don't think I would categorize myself as a "soccer mom". In fact, what IS a soccer mom?? Wikipedia says: a soccer mom is "a middle-class suburban woman who drives a mini-van, and spends a significant amount of her time transporting her school-age children to their sporting events or other activities" (for the record, I do not reside in the suburbs and I do not drive a mini-van). I get so confused with all the titles of types of people, it's exhausting to keep up! I'm not one to really put people into "categories"...I don't think it's fair and most of the time, doesn't do the individual justice. And I'm typically wrong, so why even bother. My question on this one is Why do we do it? Why do we immediately put people in boxes? And who cares to be quite honest? Is it fear, jealousy, what?? (and by "we" I mean women in general).
I will readily admit that I have a hard time making girlfriends. I have a few true girlfriends from childhood, college, work, and most recently since I've become a mother. I can probably count the number of friends who would drop anything for me if I really needed them to on one hand. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to be a guy to save my life, but man, being friends with girls takes patience! Give me a bunch of guys, a few drinks, some food and a sporting event and you've got yourself a good time!
However, as I've gotten older I've come to appreciate the differences women have to offer in a friendship. Not only do we discuss parenting, but there are different life lessons, situations and other relationships we tend to want opinions on. I now cherish these talks. I crave the comraderie and the banter. I love the difference in personalities and the strength my friends exude. I wouldn't trade them for the world and I'm thankful for them everyday. I can't even begin to want to categorize them, they each have their own special uniqueness. So here's my suggestion...take it with a grain of salt...you be you and let me be me and how about we don't categorize eachother? That's the beauty of individuality....you get to be yourself.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Today, We Remember
I can remember every single thing about that day. The color of the sky, the crispness in the air, the smell of late summer, the panic stricken phone calls, the anxiety, the fear, the relief to know my loved ones were safe…all of it. I am profoundly grateful to have been living in the neighborhood where the Twin Towers stood on Sept 11, 2001. I lived through it not only on that day, but for years after. The construction, the visitors, the tourists, the protestors and the anniversaries…all of it. I still have the shoes I wore on Sept 12th….after not being able to go back to our neighborhood on the 11th, we lived with my relatives (thank you!!) for 13 days, but on the day after, we had to know if we still had an apartment to go home to. So we walked downtown, through eerily quiet streets covered with debris coming into contact with only Police Officers and National Guardsmen who kindly helped us get to our destination. We found our building had been padlocked shut but were relieved to see it was still standing. Those shoes are in a box, still dirty, I’ll keep them forever.
Today is the one day of the year where I wish every human on the face of this earth would just take a step back and stop for a moment and live by the saying “do unto others as you would have done unto you”. Be thankful for what you have, give from your heart, love with your entire being and be kind. Because as we have learned from that day and other days since, life is short; don’t let it pass you by….LIVE it. So in honor of the memory of 9/11/01, I’m posting an article written by Will Femia, not only because he’s my husband but because of the content. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3080804/
And because honoring the memory of that day means we should continue to move forward and live, I’ll be spending my day at my son’s first soccer game, over looking the skyline of New York City being grateful.
How will you be spending your day??
Today is the one day of the year where I wish every human on the face of this earth would just take a step back and stop for a moment and live by the saying “do unto others as you would have done unto you”. Be thankful for what you have, give from your heart, love with your entire being and be kind. Because as we have learned from that day and other days since, life is short; don’t let it pass you by….LIVE it. So in honor of the memory of 9/11/01, I’m posting an article written by Will Femia, not only because he’s my husband but because of the content. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3080804/
And because honoring the memory of that day means we should continue to move forward and live, I’ll be spending my day at my son’s first soccer game, over looking the skyline of New York City being grateful.
How will you be spending your day??
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
First Day of School, First Day of School....
I would imagine this will be an annual post until my kid is a Senior in High School....for now he's a Kindergartner....HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??? Wasn't it just yesterday he was a brand new baby who needed us 24/7 for EVERYTHING?? When did he become a wise cracking, baseball hat wearing, independent kid who at the ripe old age of 4 (almost 5) thinks he knows more than me?? His energy is limitless and his thirst for knowledge amazes me...I hope it continues for the rest of his life. So as we say goodbye to the toddler years, we welcome with enthusiasm the next phase in our lives....SCHOOL!!! Happy First Day of School to all the kids in our lives no matter what grade you're in. Embrace it (you have a lot of years left!), take advantage of learning new stuff, question it, challenge it and soak it all in. Don't forget to thank your teachers too...so, THANK YOU Teachers...for taking on the responsibility of educating our kids, for loving them, disciplining them and helping them become better people every day! Here's to a great school year....I'll follow up in June 2011 :)
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month
So, September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness month.....Here are some statistics to digest....
What if I told you…
- The American Cancer Society’s Annual Report shows $1 BILLION in total public support and it’s Extramural/Intramural Funding in Priority Areas shows only $4 MILLION is directed to childhood cancers. Less than half a penny of each of these dollars is directed to the #1 killing disease for kids under the age of 20
- For children between 1-19 years, cancer is the fourth leading cause of death overall, and the leading cause of disease related death. It remains responsible for more deaths from ages 1-19 than asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis and AIDS COMBINED
- Approximately 46 U.S. children and adolescents are diagnosed with cancer every single day
- 1 in every 330 children will develop cancer before the age of 19
- National Cancer Institute’s Federal Budget was $4.6 billion from this total ALL twelve major pediatric cancers received LESS THAN 3% of this budget
- For every six research dollars per patient with AIDS and every one research dollar per patient with breast cancer, a child with cancer receives only 30 cents
- Common adult cancers are extremely rare in children, yet there are many cancers that are almost exclusively found in children
- 1 out of every 5 children diagnosed with cancer dies
- 3 out of every 5 children diagnosed with cancer suffer from long-term or late onset side effects
- Common cancer symptoms in children are often suspected to be common illnesses and thus treated as such causing cancer to be found at later stages
- Attempts to detect childhood cancers at an earlier stage when the disease would react more favorably to treatment have largely failed
- Approximately 20% of adults with cancer show evidence that their disease has spread, yet almost 80% of children show that their cancer has spread to distant sites
- Cause of childhood cancers are unknown and at present, cannot be prevented
- Nationally, childhood cancer is 20 times more prevalent than pediatric AIDS yet pediatric AIDS receives four times the funding that childhood cancer receives
- On the average, 12,500 children in the US are diagnosed with cancer each year
- On the average, one in ever four elementary schools has a child with cancer
- 2,300 children and teenagers will die each year from cancer
- Several childhood cancers continue to have a very poor prognosis, including brain stem tumors, metastatic sarcomas and relapsed acute lymphoblastic leukemia and relapsed non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma
- Every day 9 children in the US are diagnosed with a brain tumor
- Brain tumors are the leading cause of cancer death from childhood cancer
- There are more than 120 different types of brain tumors, making effective treatment very complicated
- Because brain tumors are located at the control center for thought, emotion and movement, their effects on a child’s physical and cognitive abilities can be devastating
- At this time, brain cancer research is underfunded and THE PUBLIC REMAINS LARGELY UNAWARE of the magnitude of this disease
- The cure rate for most brain cancers is significantly lower than that for many other types of cancer
- The funding for pediatric cancer clinical trials has gone down every year since 2003, and is currently $26.4 million. By comparison, NCI funding for AIDS research was $254 million in 2006; funding for breast cancer topped $584 million the same year
- We may spend 3-5 times the amount of research money per patient on most adult cancer cases than we do on children with cancer
- In general, children with Central Nervous System (CNS) cancer do not share the favorable prognosis of those with many other common pediatric neoplasms
In the coming weeks/months our family, friends and anyone else interested in getting involved will be working on establishing a foundation to honor Declan, to help current/future children (and their families) and to perpetuate awareness, understanding and the search for a cure!
Please wear your gold ribbons this month… Tell people what you know about Pediatric Cancer… and, if you would, honor Declan by sharing his story, his life and how our beautiful little boy effected you.
REFERENCES:
CureSearch Website:
CureSearch represents the combined efforts of the Children’s Oncology Group (COG) and the National Childhood Cancer Foundation (NCCF)
www.curesearch.org/aboutcc
The National Cancer Institute: http://seer.cancer.gov/publications/childhood
American Cancer Society: http://www.cancer.org/
Pediatric Cancer Foundation: http://www.pcfweb.org/facts.php
What if I told you…
- The American Cancer Society’s Annual Report shows $1 BILLION in total public support and it’s Extramural/Intramural Funding in Priority Areas shows only $4 MILLION is directed to childhood cancers. Less than half a penny of each of these dollars is directed to the #1 killing disease for kids under the age of 20
- For children between 1-19 years, cancer is the fourth leading cause of death overall, and the leading cause of disease related death. It remains responsible for more deaths from ages 1-19 than asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis and AIDS COMBINED
- Approximately 46 U.S. children and adolescents are diagnosed with cancer every single day
- 1 in every 330 children will develop cancer before the age of 19
- National Cancer Institute’s Federal Budget was $4.6 billion from this total ALL twelve major pediatric cancers received LESS THAN 3% of this budget
- For every six research dollars per patient with AIDS and every one research dollar per patient with breast cancer, a child with cancer receives only 30 cents
- Common adult cancers are extremely rare in children, yet there are many cancers that are almost exclusively found in children
- 1 out of every 5 children diagnosed with cancer dies
- 3 out of every 5 children diagnosed with cancer suffer from long-term or late onset side effects
- Common cancer symptoms in children are often suspected to be common illnesses and thus treated as such causing cancer to be found at later stages
- Attempts to detect childhood cancers at an earlier stage when the disease would react more favorably to treatment have largely failed
- Approximately 20% of adults with cancer show evidence that their disease has spread, yet almost 80% of children show that their cancer has spread to distant sites
- Cause of childhood cancers are unknown and at present, cannot be prevented
- Nationally, childhood cancer is 20 times more prevalent than pediatric AIDS yet pediatric AIDS receives four times the funding that childhood cancer receives
- On the average, 12,500 children in the US are diagnosed with cancer each year
- On the average, one in ever four elementary schools has a child with cancer
- 2,300 children and teenagers will die each year from cancer
- Several childhood cancers continue to have a very poor prognosis, including brain stem tumors, metastatic sarcomas and relapsed acute lymphoblastic leukemia and relapsed non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma
- Every day 9 children in the US are diagnosed with a brain tumor
- Brain tumors are the leading cause of cancer death from childhood cancer
- There are more than 120 different types of brain tumors, making effective treatment very complicated
- Because brain tumors are located at the control center for thought, emotion and movement, their effects on a child’s physical and cognitive abilities can be devastating
- At this time, brain cancer research is underfunded and THE PUBLIC REMAINS LARGELY UNAWARE of the magnitude of this disease
- The cure rate for most brain cancers is significantly lower than that for many other types of cancer
- The funding for pediatric cancer clinical trials has gone down every year since 2003, and is currently $26.4 million. By comparison, NCI funding for AIDS research was $254 million in 2006; funding for breast cancer topped $584 million the same year
- We may spend 3-5 times the amount of research money per patient on most adult cancer cases than we do on children with cancer
- In general, children with Central Nervous System (CNS) cancer do not share the favorable prognosis of those with many other common pediatric neoplasms
In the coming weeks/months our family, friends and anyone else interested in getting involved will be working on establishing a foundation to honor Declan, to help current/future children (and their families) and to perpetuate awareness, understanding and the search for a cure!
Please wear your gold ribbons this month… Tell people what you know about Pediatric Cancer… and, if you would, honor Declan by sharing his story, his life and how our beautiful little boy effected you.
REFERENCES:
CureSearch Website:
CureSearch represents the combined efforts of the Children’s Oncology Group (COG) and the National Childhood Cancer Foundation (NCCF)
www.curesearch.org/aboutcc
The National Cancer Institute: http://seer.cancer.gov/publications/childhood
American Cancer Society: http://www.cancer.org/
Pediatric Cancer Foundation: http://www.pcfweb.org/facts.php
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Beyond Words
This is probably the 20th time I've started this post....I keep deleting and re starting...so many emotions (mad, sad, horrified and shocked to name a few) and I'm afraid I won't do it justice. However, there's too much to say and I can't let it go without a rant, so forgive me if I ramble as I'm using this post to get some stuff off my chest....
I'm no stranger to tragedy....I've lost loved ones to sickness and accidents way too early in their (and my) lives, witnessed Sept 11th first hand, and have followed stories of devistation across the world whether it be from war or weather or bad luck and I've somehow come to understand that "this is part of life". I have come to terms with all of it, tried to see the silver lining and have moved on hoping that each experience has made me a better, stronger person.
Five months ago a co-worker of mine received the horrifying news that his 6 month old baby boy, Declan, was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer. Upon getting the news, their family and friends mobilized into action with support, whether it was helping out with their other children, cooking, organizing fundraisers, or whatever else was needed to get the job done and focus on the best outcome for the baby. Declan's parents even started a blog to document the journey they were about to embark on and to keep family and friends aware of Declan's progress. In the aptly named http://www.declansjourney.com/ we learned about the form of cancer Declan was diagnosed with (AT/RT or Atypical Teratoid Rhabtoid Tumor), the treatment options available, the surgeries he endured and the feelings his parents, brothers and other family and friends were dealing with. I have been an avid follower of Declan's Journey. I have been inspired by his fight. I am in awe of his parents Stan and Sherri, for their strength, energy, compassion, generosity, selflessness and faith. As a parent I can't possibly imagine how it feels to hear the words "cancer" and "baby" in the same sentence. I can't fathom the magnitude of the decisions they had to make on their son's behalf out of sheer desperation and undying love. I'm mad that an innocent child was affected by such a disgusting disease. And I loathe the idea that they had to go through all of it for the absolute worst possible outcome....losing a child has to be the single worst experience anyone should have to endure. They did all of it with grace and poise and I am forever touched that they shared their story with us. In reading some of the thousands and thousands of comments on their blog and Facebook pages one message reigns superior....Declan's Journey touched every single person following his story. It's amazing to me that this baby reached so many lives in such a short amount of time.
Declan has reinforced my belief in living my life to the fullest, without regret, to always look forward and to be continually grateful for all of my blessings. There's a paragraph in the book "Eat, Pray, Love" that touched me from the moment I read it. I think it can be used in different contexts for different people, and I think it's appropriate in this setting. "People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."
Declan....you were a soul mate for so many. Thank you for coming into my life and reminding me how important it is to have many soul mates, whether they're friends, family or people I didn't even personally know, like you. You will live on through the people you touched and most of all through your parents and your brothers. Rest in peace sweet angel.
Declan Black Carmical Aug 26, 2009 - Aug 18, 2010.
I'm no stranger to tragedy....I've lost loved ones to sickness and accidents way too early in their (and my) lives, witnessed Sept 11th first hand, and have followed stories of devistation across the world whether it be from war or weather or bad luck and I've somehow come to understand that "this is part of life". I have come to terms with all of it, tried to see the silver lining and have moved on hoping that each experience has made me a better, stronger person.
Five months ago a co-worker of mine received the horrifying news that his 6 month old baby boy, Declan, was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer. Upon getting the news, their family and friends mobilized into action with support, whether it was helping out with their other children, cooking, organizing fundraisers, or whatever else was needed to get the job done and focus on the best outcome for the baby. Declan's parents even started a blog to document the journey they were about to embark on and to keep family and friends aware of Declan's progress. In the aptly named http://www.declansjourney.com/ we learned about the form of cancer Declan was diagnosed with (AT/RT or Atypical Teratoid Rhabtoid Tumor), the treatment options available, the surgeries he endured and the feelings his parents, brothers and other family and friends were dealing with. I have been an avid follower of Declan's Journey. I have been inspired by his fight. I am in awe of his parents Stan and Sherri, for their strength, energy, compassion, generosity, selflessness and faith. As a parent I can't possibly imagine how it feels to hear the words "cancer" and "baby" in the same sentence. I can't fathom the magnitude of the decisions they had to make on their son's behalf out of sheer desperation and undying love. I'm mad that an innocent child was affected by such a disgusting disease. And I loathe the idea that they had to go through all of it for the absolute worst possible outcome....losing a child has to be the single worst experience anyone should have to endure. They did all of it with grace and poise and I am forever touched that they shared their story with us. In reading some of the thousands and thousands of comments on their blog and Facebook pages one message reigns superior....Declan's Journey touched every single person following his story. It's amazing to me that this baby reached so many lives in such a short amount of time.
Declan has reinforced my belief in living my life to the fullest, without regret, to always look forward and to be continually grateful for all of my blessings. There's a paragraph in the book "Eat, Pray, Love" that touched me from the moment I read it. I think it can be used in different contexts for different people, and I think it's appropriate in this setting. "People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."
Declan....you were a soul mate for so many. Thank you for coming into my life and reminding me how important it is to have many soul mates, whether they're friends, family or people I didn't even personally know, like you. You will live on through the people you touched and most of all through your parents and your brothers. Rest in peace sweet angel.
Declan Black Carmical Aug 26, 2009 - Aug 18, 2010.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Some Things NEVER Change
I'm in recovery mode....not hangover recovery, more like the day after your wedding recovery....all the planning and organizing are complete and the day(s) are finally here and then POOF! It's over....it goes so fast. I can honestly say we had a GREAT reunion....20 years can go by and some things never change. For the most part everyone looks the same as we did in high school. I'm sure we were all curious to see who had changed the most but honestly, if I ran into any one of my former classmates on the street, I think I would be able to recognize them without hesitation today. We had 2 nights of catching up and celebration....I got to see classmates, friends and former teachers. One of my friends made the observation that at our 10 year reunion it was more of a competition between classmates to see who was where, had what and accomplished the most in life and it seemed a bit shallow conversation wise (totally understandable). This time around he thought it had a more genuine feel within his conversations. I wonder what prompts that? Age? Experience? Life events? Confidence? I think it's a combination of all of the above for me. Maybe we have grown up...or have we??? Of course when I say some things never change, we still had some of the guys in the bar till all hrs of the morning pulling crazy drunk stunts and being general idiots, but that's to be expected and we all know it! (doesnt' mean we don't love you!!). The only drawback to these kinds of events is that there still isn't enough time to have in depth conversations with everyone about how they're doing. As the organizer, I tried to make it my priority to speak to every single classmate and their guests, and I hope I got to everyone. (sorry if I didnt!!)
All in all it was exactly what I had hoped it would be for me....old friends picking up where we left off all those years ago. Lots of good stories, old pictures, and general reminiscing that made me appreciate the friendships I had then, the ones I continue to have to this day, and the ones I will make a proirity to cultivate in the future. So now that I don't have a daily reunion reminder email to send out I'll have to find a new project to keep me busy!! LOL....
So, in honor of those daily emails to my classmates...A BIG, FAT THANK YOU to the Flagler Palm Coast HIgh School Class of 1990 for such a great weekend...I wish each of you all the best and look forward to staying in touch (thank goodness for Facebook!!!). And now someone else can plan the 25 year...I'll save the email list ;) xoxoxo
All in all it was exactly what I had hoped it would be for me....old friends picking up where we left off all those years ago. Lots of good stories, old pictures, and general reminiscing that made me appreciate the friendships I had then, the ones I continue to have to this day, and the ones I will make a proirity to cultivate in the future. So now that I don't have a daily reunion reminder email to send out I'll have to find a new project to keep me busy!! LOL....
So, in honor of those daily emails to my classmates...A BIG, FAT THANK YOU to the Flagler Palm Coast HIgh School Class of 1990 for such a great weekend...I wish each of you all the best and look forward to staying in touch (thank goodness for Facebook!!!). And now someone else can plan the 25 year...I'll save the email list ;) xoxoxo
Friday, July 23, 2010
Reunion...
It's here! It's here! Reunion weekend is upon me and I'm excited to say the least!!! I've been getting messages and Facebook inquiries over the last few days from old friends and I'm honestly looking forward to catching up with them all. 20 years....seems like such a big number yet feels like only yesterday we donned cap and gowns to set off on the next chapter of our lives. Whether it was college, military service or world exploration we set off to do, we most definitely had no clue what was in store for us...I'm sure there will be tons to write about as the weekend continues...for now it's off to Finn's (the beachside bar that has been a staple in Flagler County for as long as I can remember) to start the weekend's festivities....Stay tuned for updates!!!
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