Wednesday, September 10, 2014


Sept 11 is a day that I consider a rebirth every year. It’s like my new year’s resolution day. I always vow to do something for the better on that day because it’s the one day that changed me forever. I got lucky that day and I’m extremely grateful for that. It was a Tuesday and it was one of the most beautiful days you can possibly imagine, crystal clear blue skies, sun shining, a bite of autumn in the air but not enough to wear a jacket. I remember walking outside at 8 o’clock in the morning on my way to work and saying out loud “hello gorgeous” to the sky, it was THAT perfect of a day. I can tell you I had on a black tee shirt, grey skirt and black loafers (that I still have, covered in 9/11 soot stored in a box in my garage). I remember the sound of my friend Leslie’s voice when she called me at my office while watching the news, inquiring of my whereabouts and distance to the World Trade Center. I remember calling Will to see if he was still at home and hearing the shock in his voice as he watched the horror unfold from our then apartment window 2 blocks south of the buildings. I remember talking to my cousin Jen and devising a plan to meet at her place because clearly going to mine was out of the question. I remember waiting to hear from my husband who had gone radio silent after the second tower fell and praying out loud for his safety. I remember him walking through the door of my office, covered in ash and who knows what else, my relief to see him was overwhelming. I remember walking to 86th St and stopping every time we saw a TV for an update. I remember sitting at the diner around the corner from my cousin’s apartment ordering cheeseburgers and not one of us eating, paralyzed by shock. I remember the fear in my parents voices, pleading with us to leave the city that we were locked into. It was horrible because I watched with my own eyes so many people’s lives change forever and there was nothing we could do about it. And yes, being in the city on that day was very different from watching it on TV, we couldn't turn it off.

Being a New Yorker is something I’m extremely proud of. A colleague once asked me if I could chose anywhere to live in the world where would it be and I remember looking at him quizzically and saying, I already live here. Living in NYC is an acquired taste without a doubt. It’s gritty and hard on the outside but it’s strong, unique and brilliant on in the inside. There is no place like it in the world and I don’t truly feel at home anywhere else. I learned a lot about myself on 9/11. My level of strength and resolve, my ability to not panic in extreme situations, my depth of love for a city and community, my optimism that it would get better with time, my commitment to my family magnified a million times over. I learned that I’m a fighter and that I’m not afraid of the unknown.

All of the above leads me to today. For as much as 9/11 changed me, it’s now 13 years later, the city is strong and the skyline is ever evolving. I have yet to go to the memorial, and now that I have some time on my hands I will probably go it alone on a day where I can have peace and quiet and time to reflect. It’s been 8 years since we lived in that neighborhood and I often wonder what has become of so many places and people. As they say, life goes on…yes it does. So this year my 9/11 resolution is to embrace change, for I've had a lot of it in the last few months. I’m walking around with a big question mark above my head these days but I’m certain that won’t be for too long. Change is good. Life is too.

Friday, May 9, 2014

For Mom's...

Mom – such a small word for such a big job.

On Sunday we celebrate mothers, grandmothers, aunts, friend moms, stepmoms, guardian moms, foster moms, honorary moms, expectant moms and all the moms in between. We wouldn’t be here without our Moms (literally and figuratively). Cheerleaders, warriors, boo-boo fixers, schedule keepers, meal makers, carpool drivers, playdate hosts, and secret confiders…just a few of the many hats we wear. Being a mother is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I look at my boys and I’m so grateful for them, even when they’re driving me crazy and I’m watching the clock until bed time (don’t judge, you all do it too!). I tuck them in every night, kiss them and tell them I love them and that I’m so thankful to be their mom.

This Mother’s Day I’m thinking of the Moms who don’t get to kiss their children goodnight. The ones who are helplessly waiting for word about their kidnapped daughters whereabouts in Nigeria. I’m thinking of the mothers who are sitting vigil by their childrens bedsides praying for a miracle that they get well so they can hold them in their arms instead of through a hospital bed. And I’m thinking of the ones who’ve had to say goodbye too soon. I’m praying for change, for peace, for no more suffering.

Mother’s Day is about appreciating what we have in common as mothers. It’s about the miracle of our children and the joy they bring to our lives. Motherhood is not a perfect job, sometimes it’s a thankless one but most of the time it’s the most rewarding one you’ll ever have. This day is about thanking our own mothers for doing the best they could, the same way we are. So thank you Mom. Thank you for being my biggest fan, for always being supportive even when you didn’t agree, for teaching me compassion and kindness, for encouraging independence and for loving me unconditionally.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Be Nice

I've been reading tidbits of quotes, posts on FB and some tributes that the media has out there today in honor of Martin Luther King and while there are many quotable quotes from him, one of my favorites is “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’”

It doesn't matter the size of the gesture or even what the gesture is, it matters that you're doing something. Pay it forward, smile at a stranger, give someone a compliment. You'll probably brighten a day and not even know it. A few weeks ago I was at the grocery store and the guy in front of me was short $3 bucks.  As he stood there trying to decide which items to give back I handed the cashier the money and told him not to worry about it.  He was shocked and couldn't be more appreciative.  We've all been there...a few bucks short without our wallets for backup and I bet some of us wished the guy behind us would step up and offer to help. 

So today in honor of the man who gave his life to help change the world for the better, go do something nice for someone and have a great day!   

Wednesday, January 15, 2014


Did you see the video that went viral of the woman who chronicled her first 100 days at the gym?  It was a great short that took courage and honesty and I loved it!  It’s so inspiring to see someone with a big goal making strides toward life changing events. 
Which brings me to this post. 

First of all it’s making me get off my butt and start this blog up again, which I have missed greatly and look forward to keeping up with.  I have been starting, stopping and ignoring it over the last many months and I miss it. 

So...the title 100 represents the countdown of the number of days I have left until I’m officially without a job.  WHAT??  Hey, that’s corporate America for you, in the end you’re just a number and I’m OK with that. Companies reorganize all the time, I witness that first hand multiple times a year and it’s never easy.  But at least in my case there was a plan that was laid out and a timeline being followed.  I’ve had a good run, I’ve been paid well, I have medical benefits and retirement funds and too many vacation days to take in a year.  I have met some of the best people where I work, and I’m privileged to call them friends.  There have been good days and bad days (as I’m sure you can all relate) but to be honest the good has outweighed the bad.

Today is the day I’m going to start to explore the question “what do I want to be when I grow up?” My answer to that is “I HAVE NO IDEA!!”  So I’m looking for help…help with getting back in the saddle after a very long run in my current company.  Suggestions on where to start, how to get organized, what tools to use for research, (just to start somewhere), would be great. I have visions of lists upon lists and the thought is frightening me! I have so many questions; I mean…I haven’t been on an interview in more than 15 years!  I realize I’m an unusual case as most people have changed jobs throughout their careers, yet I’ve moved around within my organization not outside of it.  

I’m calling today “Ready, Set, Go!”….let the brainstorming begin! 

(of course this all has to be done on my own personal time as I’m technically still an employee with a full time day job and a million other things going on too!)