Thursday, November 25, 2010

My Shared Day

On this date, 5 years ago at 3:46 in the morning, my water broke...ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!! That was not what I had hoped for to say the least. You see, my favorite holiday is my birthday. I love birthdays, and not just mine...everyone's!! I love the ritual of celebrating the day of your arrival, gifts, cake, dinners, parties, cards, candles...all of it. Birthdays are the best!! Heck, we've even made holidays out of them (ahem, Christmas) you can imagine my reaction to this tragic event...I would have to share the day with my own KID??? WHAT??? NO!!!!! I don't mind sharing the day with JFK, Jr (rest his soul), but my own flesh and blood?? A travesty I tell you!!!

Sparing you the details, I was basically in labor with 13 other women on the day after Thanksgiving with only 1 doctor on duty...needless to say it was a long day. A day of my husband watching the monitor and narrating the contractions..."here it comes", "wow, that was a big one", "here comes another"...thanks babe, I think I got it, UGH! A day of "where the hell is the epidural guy"??? A day of deciding on what to name our son. Up until the minute he was born I was still unsure I actually want kids (yes, that's the complete and honest truth). I loved our life, the city, our friends, traveling, restaurants, parties....I wasn't really into the prospect of having my style crimped. You can call me selfish all you want, I'm just being real. And then, at 7:20pm (exactly the time the doctor said he would), Wyatt Nathanial Livingston Ichabod 23 arrived after a very uneventful (thank God) labor, and changed my life. And...I effectively lost my birthday at the ripe old age of 33.

For the last 5 years, Wyatt and I have shared our day, this year, for the first time together on Thanksgiving. As he grows, I become more aware of how special this have the same birthday as my precious boy. He's an amazing, smart, happy, hilarious, wicked, sweet child. And as far as my life changing, well it did, but not as drastically as I thought it would. He was totally portable from day 1, so we never missed out on the stuff I thought we would. He came with us. So I would consider him an enhancement to our lives, a perk, a bonus...the best thing that ever happened to us. I am so blessed to have this little person in my life, sharing my favorite day of the year with me, it's a privilege.

So on this Thanksgiving I'm wishing my sweet angel boy a very Happy 5th Birthday....and myself a very Happy 5th Anniversary of my 33rd Birthday!! :) I love you Wyatt.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


A few months ago my co-worker and friend lost his baby boy, Declan, to a battle with cancer, he was 11 months and 358 days old....a few days ago my brother's best friend (and subsequently, a friend of our family), Josh, lost his life in a car accident, he was 34. At this time of year, Thanksgiving, I want to be thankful for their lives. Both of them taken too soon, they had more to do, I'm sure of it. Declan's parents have started a foundation in his memory to help raise awareness for pediatric cancer...hopefully in the coming years we'll be walking/running/fundraising for them the way we do for so many other worthy causes. Josh's friends have started a memorial page on Facebook and I don't doubt for one minute that there won't be a fund created in his honor that will benefit a charity in the near future.

I'm a firm believer in remembering loved ones for the lives they lived...they should be celebrated. Josh should be celebrated for his exeuberence for life, his love of words and for his hearty laugh and smile. I remember him at different stages throughout his a boy on the football field, as a young adult home from college, at my brother's wedding, at their restaurant chatting with customers welcoming them, joking with me whenever we were in town on a visit about how crazy I am to live in New York, but still getting a hug anyway :)....he was a force and I know he will be missed by so many. The special thing about the town we grew up in is that it truly is a community that comes together in good times and bad. I know Josh's family is sorrounded by family and friends who will support them and love them and help them through this horrible time. His family is strong, they are faithful and they are blessed to have had the time they did with him.

I used a quote in my post about Declan when he passed away and I'm going to use it again here. "People think a soul mate is a perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it." Josh, I know some of your soul mates and I know you are missed terribly, and I know your memory will be kept alive through them everyday.

This Thanksgiving, be grateful for the ones we have loved and lost and the ones who are here with us to celebrate. Be thankful for your sorroundings, for your family, your friends, your children, your faith. Life is short, live it.

Rest well Joshua Douglas Crews...05.18.76 - 11.21.10