Beyond Words

This is probably the 20th time I've started this post....I keep deleting and re starting...so many emotions (mad, sad, horrified and shocked to name a few) and I'm afraid I won't do it justice. However, there's too much to say and I can't let it go without a rant, so forgive me if I ramble as I'm using this post to get some stuff off my chest....


I'm no stranger to tragedy....I've lost loved ones to sickness and accidents way too early in their (and my) lives, witnessed Sept 11th first hand, and have followed stories of devistation across the world whether it be from war or weather or bad luck and I've somehow come to understand that "this is part of life". I have come to terms with all of it, tried to see the silver lining and have moved on hoping that each experience has made me a better, stronger person.


Five months ago a co-worker of mine received the horrifying news that his 6 month old baby boy, Declan, was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer. Upon getting the news, their family and friends mobilized into action with support, whether it was helping out with their other children, cooking, organizing fundraisers, or whatever else was needed to get the job done and focus on the best outcome for the baby. Declan's parents even started a blog to document the journey they were about to embark on and to keep family and friends aware of Declan's progress. In the aptly named http://www.declansjourney.com/ we learned about the form of cancer Declan was diagnosed with (AT/RT or Atypical Teratoid Rhabtoid Tumor), the treatment options available, the surgeries he endured and the feelings his parents, brothers and other family and friends were dealing with. I have been an avid follower of Declan's Journey. I have been inspired by his fight. I am in awe of his parents Stan and Sherri, for their strength, energy, compassion, generosity, selflessness and faith. As a parent I can't possibly imagine how it feels to hear the words "cancer" and "baby" in the same sentence. I can't fathom the magnitude of the decisions they had to make on their son's behalf out of sheer desperation and undying love. I'm mad that an innocent child was affected by such a disgusting disease. And I loathe the idea that they had to go through all of it for the absolute worst possible outcome....losing a child has to be the single worst experience anyone should have to endure. They did all of it with grace and poise and I am forever touched that they shared their story with us. In reading some of the thousands and thousands of comments on their blog and Facebook pages one message reigns superior....Declan's Journey touched every single person following his story. It's amazing to me that this baby reached so many lives in such a short amount of time.


Declan has reinforced my belief in living my life to the fullest, without regret, to always look forward and to be continually grateful for all of my blessings. There's a paragraph in the book "Eat, Pray, Love" that touched me from the moment I read it. I think it can be used in different contexts for different people, and I think it's appropriate in this setting. "People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."


Declan....you were a soul mate for so many. Thank you for coming into my life and reminding me how important it is to have many soul mates, whether they're friends, family or people I didn't even personally know, like you. You will live on through the people you touched and most of all through your parents and your brothers. Rest in peace sweet angel.

Declan Black Carmical Aug 26, 2009 - Aug 18, 2010.

Some Things NEVER Change

I'm in recovery mode....not hangover recovery, more like the day after your wedding recovery....all the planning and organizing are complete and the day(s) are finally here and then POOF! It's over....it goes so fast. I can honestly say we had a GREAT reunion....20 years can go by and some things never change. For the most part everyone looks the same as we did in high school. I'm sure we were all curious to see who had changed the most but honestly, if I ran into any one of my former classmates on the street, I think I would be able to recognize them without hesitation today. We had 2 nights of catching up and celebration....I got to see classmates, friends and former teachers. One of my friends made the observation that at our 10 year reunion it was more of a competition between classmates to see who was where, had what and accomplished the most in life and it seemed a bit shallow conversation wise (totally understandable). This time around he thought it had a more genuine feel within his conversations. I wonder what prompts that? Age? Experience? Life events? Confidence? I think it's a combination of all of the above for me. Maybe we have grown up...or have we??? Of course when I say some things never change, we still had some of the guys in the bar till all hrs of the morning pulling crazy drunk stunts and being general idiots, but that's to be expected and we all know it! (doesnt' mean we don't love you!!). The only drawback to these kinds of events is that there still isn't enough time to have in depth conversations with everyone about how they're doing. As the organizer, I tried to make it my priority to speak to every single classmate and their guests, and I hope I got to everyone. (sorry if I didnt!!)

All in all it was exactly what I had hoped it would be for me....old friends picking up where we left off all those years ago. Lots of good stories, old pictures, and general reminiscing that made me appreciate the friendships I had then, the ones I continue to have to this day, and the ones I will make a proirity to cultivate in the future. So now that I don't have a daily reunion reminder email to send out I'll have to find a new project to keep me busy!! LOL....

So, in honor of those daily emails to my classmates...A BIG, FAT THANK YOU to the Flagler Palm Coast HIgh School Class of 1990 for such a great weekend...I wish each of you all the best and look forward to staying in touch (thank goodness for Facebook!!!). And now someone else can plan the 25 year...I'll save the email list ;) xoxoxo

Reunion...

It's here! It's here! Reunion weekend is upon me and I'm excited to say the least!!! I've been getting messages and Facebook inquiries over the last few days from old friends and I'm honestly looking forward to catching up with them all. 20 years....seems like such a big number yet feels like only yesterday we donned cap and gowns to set off on the next chapter of our lives. Whether it was college, military service or world exploration we set off to do, we most definitely had no clue what was in store for us...I'm sure there will be tons to write about as the weekend continues...for now it's off to Finn's (the beachside bar that has been a staple in Flagler County for as long as I can remember) to start the weekend's festivities....Stay tuned for updates!!!

The Final Countdown...

Ok, so about 7 months ago I was posting on Facebook about whether or not my high school classmates knew if we were going to have a reunion to commemorate our 20 years of liberation from the confines of Flagler Palm Coast High School in beautiful downtown Bunnell, Florida....and of course within minutes some of my former classmates were all into the idea but not into the planning. So me being a type A planner, I decided to (what the hell) go ahead and volunteer....LOLOLOLOL....and oh by the way...I live a mere 1,000 miles away from Bunnell, Florida and haven't called the town of Palm Coast my home in 13 years so of course this wasn't designed to be a small task from the get go. I enlisted some enthusiastic former classmates and we went to work. Thank goodness for the invention of the internet and the rapid growth of social media or we would've been totally screwed! Finding people is much easier to do in this day and age and so with pages like Facebook, My Space (do people still use that??) and Google we set out to find our fellow graduates.....I'm happy to say we found over 1/2 of our class, the other 1/2, well no luck....and not for lack of trying....who knew!! I thought it would be much easier to locate our missing classmates and I'm kinda bummed that they won't know about or participate in our reunion. As I type, we have 1 week until the big party and we have over 100 people scheduled to attend, I'm really excited to be able to catch up with my former classmates, some I haven't seen since the day we graduated (or at least at the after party), some I have had the opportunity to reconnect with via Facebook and some have been my closest friends since we were kids (you know who you are!). Of course the typical anxieties have set in, first will the party be a success? Second, what will our significant others (who have so graciously agreed to attend but secretly I'm sure they're all wishing they can be on a comfy couch with their feet up watching reality TV) do/talk about/think of this thing??? Third, what's everyone going to look like? (thank goodness AGAIN for Facebook in this instance, so there will be limited amounts of shock, but some people don't subscribe to sites like that so of course it's only natural to wonder, right?) And finally, WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR???? Because, let's face it, it's 20 years later and we're not 17 anymore!! So, now we count down the days until next weekend when we will descend on Flagler County and party like it's 1990, we even have the ipod to prove it!! Stay tuned for the update and photos...I can't wait!!!

Still Nothing to Yell About....

So, here we are...the voting stopped a week ago, I ended up with 51,054 votes...THANKS everyone!! And now we wait...and wait...and wait...top 5 finalists are supposed to be announced this week and it's Friday....40 people in all will have a chance at the first round of interviews, over 10,000 people entered the contest....phew, that's a lot of people, but in my head I think I was expecting more. Of course, I have no idea how many people went out to the casting calls so all of this is hypothetical. My chances are still better than winning the lottery (I think).

So, today, (and all this past week) I've not been yelling, but waiting....c'mon Oprah...CALL!!!!

Oh, and here's the link to my audition video, because you haven't seen it enough already!! LOL http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=7929&promo_id=1

Welcome....I Think....

OK, so first blog post. Not exactly sure how this is going to turn out, but I figure I'd give it a go since the "Why Am I Yelling" part of my Oprah audition has taken on a life of it's own with my family and friends. It seems I can't go a few hours without someone asking about it. So, I entered this contest on a whim (or a suggestion from a friend who sent me the link), at the time of this writing, I have just surpassed 37,000 votes and yes, I know that there are certain people voting many, many, many (thousand) times over but truthfully it feels good to know that I have a support system out there, so THANK YOU to those who have watched the video and clicked your support, I appreciate it so much. I know exactly how the yelling concept came about...a certain friend who shall remain nameless (Vinnie) asked me why I was "still" yelling (5 minutes after yelling at our kids to stop squirting the adults with water) at the park a few weeks ago and it just stuck...and YES, I know I'm not the quietest person on the planet and sometimes when I get excited about what I'm talking about, my inflection tends to escalate so yelling is a way of life for me, I suppose. I yell when I'm happy, nervous, excited, mad, scolding a kid...you get the picture.

So, why did I enter this contest you may be wondering? Well, here's why...first off, It's been my dream to someday have my own talk show. Some of my friends and family know this, some don't. It's not something I discuss, rather a daydream/fantasy that I think about on occasion. Secondly, I have been told by some that I should have my own talk show. And finally, well, because my friend Michele sent me the link and said to me on Facebook "you HAVE to do this", and so I listened because, hey, I have just as good a shot as the other 10,000 contestants do, right??? :)

So..."Why Am I Yelling"??? well, there's a lot to yell about these days from really small stuff that happens every day in your own home to really big stuff that happens every day out there in the world. I want this blog to be interactive. I want you to submit topics and I'll respond to why I would yell about it. And while you're at it tell me why you're yelling too! This will be fun! No matter what happens with the Oprah contest, my intention is to maintain this blog so we can all have a voice. And speaking of the contest....1 more week left to vote and then I guess we'll know who made the first round of cuts. It's exciting!!!


OK, so there you go....check back to find out why I'm yelling or let me know why I should yell....Thanks for reading!!