Happy Holidays....

Ok, so we are officially missing the blizzard of 2010 back in NYC....we're currently in not so sunny (or warm for that matter) Florida visiting my family for the holidays. Ah, the holidays...how I love them...and loathe them all at the same time. It's a fine line really. Here's what I love, in no particular order: anticipation, excitement, twinkling lights, merriment, parties, gifts, planning, decorating, preparing, shopping, NYC, family, friends, surprises, creating memories, tradition. I know there are more things that I love about it, but you get the gist. Here's what I loathe: not enough time to get it done. I live by the rule that the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are for doing all the things that require a successful Christmas day. So we decorate the house, shop, cook, wrap, and plan all in that very small window of time. OH, and work full time and maintain a regular life all while doing this extra stuff and unfortunately, every year something falls by the wayside. I wish I had some extra time this year to bake. I used to bake for weeks prior to Christmas. I would make all kinds of cookies and give them as gifts...that has almost completely stopped in more recent years. I'm too busy with other obligations and then I'm too tired to sgtart baking at 10pm. BUT, if that's the only thing that I'm slacking on then I don't think it's too bad.

We also typically travel during the holidays, this year we left on Christmas night, and I'm happy to report that it wasn't too bad since there was an impending blizzard in NYC and severe weather all along the eastern seaboard. We only had a 2 hour delay this year. Unfortunately, upon arriving in Jacksonville on Christmas night or well, the day after Christmas morning (12am), the rental car place was closed and we had to deal with a little additional delay at the airport. Rest assured, Enterprise Rent A Car will NOT be getting our business EVER again, since there were real live rental agents at the airport when we landed....according to the very nice guy, Chris, at Alamo (where we ultimately ended up getting a car from), the Enterprise guys could have totally helped us and they were being lazy...thanks dudes, Merry Christmas. But hey, Chris hooked us up with a nicer car and a cheaper rate, so there! Now I have to write my bad customer service letter to Enterprise, I hate having to do that.

I also have to give props to my kiddo, who is the master traveler...he is so good at getting through airports, and behaving on planes that he makes going places enjoyable. I love traveling with him! He can even sleep the whole plane ride, be woken up, help with the bags at the airport and go right back to sleep in the car without so much as a complaint, he's the best!

So now that we're here, we're looking forward to warmer weather (hopefully), spending time with my most awesome niece and nephew, friends, and family and returning to the great white north on New Year's Eve in time to hang out with friends and ring in 2011....WOW! I hope you all had a very Happy Holiday and I'm gonna contemplate my resolutions for my next post....Merry Merry everyone!!

My Shared Day

On this date, 5 years ago at 3:46 in the morning, my water broke...ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!! That was not what I had hoped for to say the least. You see, my favorite holiday is my birthday. I love birthdays, and not just mine...everyone's!! I love the ritual of celebrating the day of your arrival, gifts, cake, dinners, parties, cards, candles...all of it. Birthdays are the best!! Heck, we've even made holidays out of them (ahem, Christmas)...so you can imagine my reaction to this tragic event...I would have to share the day with my own KID??? WHAT??? NO!!!!! I don't mind sharing the day with JFK, Jr (rest his soul), but my own flesh and blood?? A travesty I tell you!!!

Sparing you the details, I was basically in labor with 13 other women on the day after Thanksgiving with only 1 doctor on duty...needless to say it was a long day. A day of my husband watching the monitor and narrating the contractions..."here it comes", "wow, that was a big one", "here comes another"...thanks babe, I think I got it, UGH! A day of "where the hell is the epidural guy"??? A day of deciding on what to name our son. Up until the minute he was born I was still unsure I actually want kids (yes, that's the complete and honest truth). I loved our life, the city, our friends, traveling, restaurants, parties....I wasn't really into the prospect of having my style crimped. You can call me selfish all you want, I'm just being real. And then, at 7:20pm (exactly the time the doctor said he would), Wyatt Nathanial Livingston Ichabod 23 arrived after a very uneventful (thank God) labor, and changed my life. And...I effectively lost my birthday at the ripe old age of 33.

For the last 5 years, Wyatt and I have shared our day, this year, for the first time together on Thanksgiving. As he grows, I become more aware of how special this is...to have the same birthday as my precious boy. He's an amazing, smart, happy, hilarious, wicked, sweet child. And as far as my life changing, well it did, but not as drastically as I thought it would. He was totally portable from day 1, so we never missed out on the stuff I thought we would. He came with us. So I would consider him an enhancement to our lives, a perk, a bonus...the best thing that ever happened to us. I am so blessed to have this little person in my life, sharing my favorite day of the year with me, it's a privilege.

So on this Thanksgiving I'm wishing my sweet angel boy a very Happy 5th Birthday....and myself a very Happy 5th Anniversary of my 33rd Birthday!! :) I love you Wyatt.

Thanksgiving.

A few months ago my co-worker and friend lost his baby boy, Declan, to a battle with cancer, he was 11 months and 358 days old....a few days ago my brother's best friend (and subsequently, a friend of our family), Josh, lost his life in a car accident, he was 34. At this time of year, Thanksgiving, I want to be thankful for their lives. Both of them taken too soon, they had more to do, I'm sure of it. Declan's parents have started a foundation in his memory to help raise awareness for pediatric cancer...hopefully in the coming years we'll be walking/running/fundraising for them the way we do for so many other worthy causes. Josh's friends have started a memorial page on Facebook and I don't doubt for one minute that there won't be a fund created in his honor that will benefit a charity in the near future.

I'm a firm believer in remembering loved ones for the lives they lived...they should be celebrated. Josh should be celebrated for his exeuberence for life, his love of words and for his hearty laugh and smile. I remember him at different stages throughout his life...as a boy on the football field, as a young adult home from college, at my brother's wedding, at their restaurant chatting with customers welcoming them, joking with me whenever we were in town on a visit about how crazy I am to live in New York, but still getting a hug anyway :)....he was a force and I know he will be missed by so many. The special thing about the town we grew up in is that it truly is a community that comes together in good times and bad. I know Josh's family is sorrounded by family and friends who will support them and love them and help them through this horrible time. His family is strong, they are faithful and they are blessed to have had the time they did with him.

I used a quote in my post about Declan when he passed away and I'm going to use it again here. "People think a soul mate is a perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it." Josh, I know some of your soul mates and I know you are missed terribly, and I know your memory will be kept alive through them everyday.

This Thanksgiving, be grateful for the ones we have loved and lost and the ones who are here with us to celebrate. Be thankful for your sorroundings, for your family, your friends, your children, your faith. Life is short, live it.

Rest well Joshua Douglas Crews...05.18.76 - 11.21.10

Happy Halloween!!

Halloween will always have a special place in my heart....I have a very good friend who lives entirely too far away and for as long as I can remember, we always spent Halloween together with her children. No matter what state they lived in,I would make the trip to their home to be with the kids to trick or treat. That tradition stopped when I had my own child and hers grew up, and while we are starting our own traditions for this holiday I sometimes miss those trips.

I understand how life goes on, people evolve, families grow and relationships change. It's always been important to me to continue traditions for the holidays...but I acknowledge the need for tweaks every once in a while. While I won't be traveling to trick or treat with my friend's kids, I will be trick or treating with mine. This year, Halloween came up way too fast for me! This is the first year our home isn't decked out with Halloween knick knacks (much to my husband's dismay!), because time just got away from me...ugh! So instead of obsessing over what didn't get done, I'm going to focus on what we're going to be doing this weekend...celebrating with our family and friends, eating lots of candy, marching around the neighborhood dressed as our favorite super heros, baseball players and princesses....and continuing our traditions.

Have a very Happy and Safe Halloween everyone!!!

You're Beautiful!!!

ok, so this will be a quick one but I was on the MSNBC website during lunch today and came across an article about 200 high school girls in Texas chosing to not wear make up on Tuesday's in an effort to promote true beauty. Their club is called "Redefining Beautiful: One Girl at a Time". Check out MSNBC for the article:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39775094/ns/today-today_fashion_and_beauty/
It's not about the clothes, the makeup, the bags or shoes and it's not about size. I particularly love that they have been getting an outpouring of support from other teens around the globe as well as the boys!! (you go boys!)....

There's also a link within the article to "Operation Beautiful"...a movement started by Caitlin in North Carolina who says "the goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically". KUDOS to you Caitlin...I hope this goes far!! Check out her site at: http://operationbeautiful.com/.

I don't have a daughter, but as a woman I know what it's like to want to keep up my appearance...my regular 6 week cut and color are facebook statuses for me...but I also know that I'm totally fine with not wearing any makeup on any given day. I'm also 37 and don't really care what others think, but when I was a teenager it definitely mattered...I wish we had girls like this in my high school!!

So props to the people out there who are promoting a positive self image to teenagers in their communities, you're helping more than you know!!!

Tis The Season????

Seriously folks....last time I checked, today is October 17th, not December 1st...I want to know what happened to Halloween? Thanksgiving?? Autumn?? Why, why, why is it that when I now pass a store it's decked out for CHRISTMAS already???!!!! This is appalling!! October is for changing leaves, pumpkin and apple picking, warm cider, sweaters, candy and costume parties. November is for boots, jackets, pumpkin pie, giving thanks and parades down 5th avenue. December is for trees, decorations, snow, coats and CHRISTMAS (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever holiday you celebrate). I hate that we're rushing the holiday season and every year it seems to start earlier. I was talking to my cousin the other day and she said that a store she was in has already started playing Christmas music..WHAT??? NO!!!! Stop!!

Attention retailers!! I know it's been a rough few years, but I'm pretty sure you putting out holiday decorations and playing holiday music this early in the season is not going to get us all jazzed up...quite the contrary...it makes me anxious and aggravated. Stop rushing!! Life goes by fast enough, can't we just enjoy every day/season as it should be? I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in Christmas in July.

Stop The Madness...

I wear a lot of hats, daughter, sister, wife, friend, co-worker, mother...and the one I take the most seriously is Mother. The decision to have children was not an automatic one for me. When I was younger I never really fantasized about having and raising kids. After I got married I didn't feel an immediate need to bring a child into the world, I struggled with even wanting one for a while. I'm certain we made the right decision for us in our family when we took the plunge into parenthood and I wouldn't have done it any other way. It was done with a lot of consideration and thought. My son is the greatest thing that has ever happened to us, every day is a new adventure and we are endlessly grateful for him.

So yesterday I was reading the news and that's when I learned about the Rutgers University student, Tyler Clementi, who committed suicide because of bullying. Bullying? What? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?!?!?!? WHY? That's not just wrong, it's shameful and horrible and needs to be addressed.

Here's what I know...especially since becoming a parent...I know kids are mean and I know kids are dumb and yes, that is a generalization. I know it's my responsibility as a parent to make sure my child is kind, generous, considerate, compassionate and well mannered toward others. I know it's hard being a kid, what with all the competition and expectations placed upon them from us as a society. I also know that children need role models...(apart from the athletes and celebrities)...people they know, who they can interact with on a daily basis, turn to for guidance, respect and communicate with (and I know that does not have to be a parent)...I know not all children have supportive parents and that sucks quite frankly. I know this is an issue that starts when kids are small and continues until they're adults and no matter what angle you look at it from, it's never right. Being mean to another person is wrong. You can say these types of issues are so complex and there could be some underlying reasons for it but you know what? Address it. If you have a child with socialization issues or self esteem issues or any other kind of issue that causes them to act out toward others...address it.

This is the 21st century. We should be able to befriend whomever we want. Date, fall in love, marry, dont marry, have sex, be happy with WHOMEVER we want. It's no one else's business, end of story. It's not right to criticize, berate, tease, harass (or whatever word you want to use) another person because of their personal choices. Life is hard enough when you're well adjusted....imagine if you were struggling with something like your sexual orientation or low self esteem, or some other kind of anxiety as a young adult. That's the hardest time of your life to have to deal with anything of that nature...let's not make it harder for these young people. How can we fix this? Communication is the first step. Being able to talk about the issues without consequence or judgement is where this has to start. As a mother and a member of society it's my responsibility to listen. So, I'll start with the one child I have, and make a promise that no matter how hard it gets (because not every day is all candy and roses), I will love him and communicate with him and listen to him. I may not always agree with him along the way, but I will always try to guide him in the right direction for him and no one else. And I will promise my friends and family that if their children every need an ear or a shoulder, they can have mine without judgement.